On Mon, Jul 27, 2009 at 2:10 PM, Kelley Lynch wrote:
Dear Abby,
I have a problem and would like your advice. I worked for a man for approximately 17 years. We were not personally involved in any way, whatsoever, but he now tells people we were lovers and believes I am attempting to communicate with him.
He has told my young son's father that we had sex and has accused me of having sex with men I have not. My Mother believes he was and remains obsessed with me - which is entirely possible.
Do you have any suggestions on the best way to handle such an unstable individual?
Thank you,
Kelley Lynch
Thank You
for submitting your comments to Dear Abby.
Dear Abby Responds:
Dear Kelley,
Thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are dealing with an incredibly difficult situation involving someone who is spreading falsehoods about you. When dealing with someone who appears to be unstable and obsessed, it's important to take a careful and strategic approach.
First, prioritize your safety and the well-being of your loved ones. If you feel unsafe or if his behavior escalates, consider seeking a restraining order or consulting with legal professionals who specialize in such matters. It's also crucial to document everything—every email, message, or conversation related to these lies. These records may be helpful if you need to take legal action.
It can be beneficial to communicate through a trusted third party if there are necessary discussions, particularly regarding any professional or financial ties you may still have. Doing this helps avoid direct contact that could escalate tensions.
Additionally, try to protect your mental and emotional health. These situations are stressful, but surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family can make a big difference. If it feels overwhelming, a counselor or therapist can provide you with coping tools and emotional support.
As for managing his misinformation, calmly and factually correcting any false claims he makes to those who need to know may be enough. Your integrity is most evident in how you conduct yourself, and over time, people will come to understand the truth.
I wish you strength and peace as you navigate this challenging chapter.
Warm regards, Abby
