Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Smoke and Mirrors: Kelley Lynch's Saga with Leonard Cohen, the Cohen Estate/Trust, and an Army of Lawyers

Bruce Cutler-Style Breakdown of Rice’s Arguments Let’s set the record straight here. Michelle Rice’s arguments in this courtroom debacle? They don’t hold water, and if I may be blunt, they’re falling apart faster than a cheap suit. Here’s why:
The Constructive Trust Fiasco Rice claims that Cohen somehow magically gained rights to corporate entities and assets through a “constructive trust” in a default judgment. Now, anyone with basic knowledge of California law knows that suspended corporations can’t legally transfer assets, engage in business, or do much of anything until they’re reinstated. Let’s be clear: Cohen’s estate can’t cherry-pick the law, sidestepping corporate governance rules one minute and then invoking them the next. Rice’s position here is flimsy, if not downright reckless, when she tries to ignore the law and claim rights to entities that Cohen had no business controlling.
Blatant Ignorance of Corporate Law Rice has argued that the bad standing of these entities “doesn’t matter.” Well, under California’s Corporations Code, a suspended corporation is legally incapacitated. It’s dead in the water. If Rice wants to act as if that corporation is alive and kicking for Cohen’s purposes, she’s got another thing coming. California law doesn’t allow suspended corporations to participate in legal actions or transfer assets. Rice’s argument here is like trying to drive a car with no engine—good luck, but it’s not getting you anywhere. And let’s not forget that Cohen’s former manager has a lawful ownership interest in these entities. By pushing Cohen’s claim, Rice is essentially arguing that Cohen can strip rights away from a co-owner just because it’s convenient for him. Sorry, but in California, it doesn’t work like that.
IRS Alert: The Tax Dodging Scheme Now here’s where things get even murkier. Cohen’s team allegedly used these corporate entities to claim tax deductions for “theft losses” on Cohen’s personal returns. Now, if those entities are suspended and haven’t filed taxes in years, what exactly is Rice trying to pull here? The IRS is bound to take interest in this web of tax manipulation. Claiming tax benefits from suspended entities without keeping them in good standing? That’s a quick way to get the IRS breathing down your neck. Rice’s position essentially admits tax evasion risk, plain and simple.
Fiduciary Breach and Recklessness Rice’s argument that Cohen wasn’t responsible for maintaining these entities is like trying to blame the dog for eating your homework. Cohen was in a position of financial control, meaning he had a fiduciary duty to maintain these corporations in good standing. Ignoring that obligation is a breach of duty, no matter how you slice it. By allowing these corporations to languish in bad standing, Cohen’s actions—or rather, inaction—open the door to claims of mismanagement and outright negligence.
Smoke and Mirrors with the Writ of Possession Let’s call this what it is: a red herring. Rice is trying to argue that Cohen’s writ of possession somehow applies to the corporate records seized from Cohen’s former manager. That writ? It’s about Cohen’s personal documents, not corporate records. The fact that Rice wants to twist a writ meant for Cohen’s personal property to apply to corporate records—records Cohen’s former manager has a lawful interest in—is a sleight of hand at best, and legal malpractice at worst. Image: Kelley at IRS, in tiara and Queen of England's jewels, explaining why she has a fee waiver (Cohen bankrupted her), can't afford an attorney, and her corporate records were seized while she cannot obtain tax information from Cohen or his estate.
The appellate court confirmed that the judgment against Cohen’s former manager doesn’t touch these corporate entities. Rice’s entire argument here collapses under scrutiny, as she’s trying to claim rights that Cohen doesn’t have and can’t legally hold. Obstruction and Evidence Suppression And then there’s the attempted suppression of critical evidence. Neal Greenberg, another associate who sued Cohen, tried to intervene to preserve evidence, highlighting Cohen’s desperate effort to bury corporate records. Rice wants to block these documents from the record because they expose Cohen’s house of cards. But the court’s refusal to preserve this evidence reeks of impropriety, and Rice’s desperate attempts to keep these records sealed are an affront to transparency and justice.
Bottom Line: A House of Cards Let’s not mince words. Rice’s arguments are a collection of legal half-truths, misdirections, and outright evasions. Her strategy may be to throw enough confusion into the case to sidestep liability, but the law isn’t that malleable. When it comes down to it, Rice’s entire case for Cohen’s estate rests on ignoring the rules of corporate governance, disregarding tax obligations, and hoping no one notices the house of cards they’ve built. In a courtroom run by the letter of the law, these arguments wouldn’t last a day. And if there’s any justice in this system, they won’t stand much longer.
Disclaimer: The article and accompanying illustrations present Kelley Lynch as a "haute couture Buddhist" hipster character in an imaginative and stylized portrayal. This depiction reflects an artistic and surreal interpretation inspired by the complex legal disputes and public narratives that followed her split from Leonard Cohen. The choice to portray Lynch adorned in jewels and sophisticated attire references Cohen's statements after their parting, where he attributed her alleged “downfall” to extravagant spending on items like jewelry, shoes, and haute couture—a narrative Lynch firmly disputes. The artistic representation, while not intended as a literal portrayal, emphasizes the intensity and multifaceted nature of her legal claims, offering a metaphorical view into the high-stakes drama of her experience. This stylized depiction serves to underscore the layers of conflict, public perception, and personal resilience inherent in her story.

C'est manifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre, c'est de la folie

I would summarize Leonard Cohen's Goebbels’ inspired propaganda blitz against me, to borrow French Commander General Pierre Bosque's remark following the tactically disastrous "Charge of the Light Brigade," as follows: "C'est manifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre, c'est de la folie." In other words, it is magnificent, but it is not true legal warfare. It is madness. It is also the epitome of dirty lawyering. Leonard Cohen spent millions upon millions of dollars developing his false narrative which was then propelled into the public realm through lawsuits, articles, interviews, press releases, biographies, and other PR techniques. I have asked a former federal judge to assist me in responding to Leonard Cohen's so-called legal campaign and correct the fraudulent record. Leonard Cohen, an ordained Buddhist monk, also mounted, with the assistance of the local government of Los Angeles (and others), a rabid attack on my family, Tibetan Buddhism, and my Tibetan Buddhist teachers, including the 17th Gyalwa Karmapa, 14th Sharmapa, His Holiness Kusum Lingpa, His Holiness Thinley Norbu Rinpoche, and others. This is not the conduct of a "religious sage" as LC is currently viewed on the world stage. Leonard Cohen informed many individuals that he was Joshu Sasaki Roshi's dharma heir. I am not certain if that was for effect but his conduct with respect to me was unwholesome and thoroughly twisted. However, as LC himself has stated: his public persona was a "cover" operation.
The article explores the multifaceted legacy of Leonard Cohen, examining his revered public persona and the complexities of his private life in light of the #MeToo era. Cohen, celebrated as a poet, singer-songwriter, and spiritual figure, has become almost saint-like posthumously, with memorials and exhibitions that emphasize his creative and spiritual journeys. However, the article highlights an overlooked aspect of Cohen’s legacy: his libertine and, arguably, misogynistic attitudes, particularly in his relationships and depictions of women. His art often portrayed women as muses or objects of desire, reflecting the archetype of the “lothario” and “ladies' man.” The article questions how Cohen would have been received in today’s social climate, acknowledging that his early career involved attitudes toward women that, while dismissed or romanticized in his time, might now attract criticism. It also contrasts the sanitized legacy presented in recent tributes with the more troubling aspects of his life and work. This complex portrayal aligns with the public narrative Cohen perpetuated about Kelley Lynch, his longtime manager, whom he falsely portrayed in legal battles as a spurned lover and stalker after she questioned his aggressive tax strategies and matters related to entities she had an ownership interest in. This portrayal distracted from Lynch’s professional role, framing her concerns as personal vendetta rather than a legitimate business issue. Cohen’s narrative mirrored his artistic tendency to shape women’s roles around his perspective, using his charisma and influence to cast Lynch not as a businesswoman but as a figure in his ongoing, dramatized personal mythos, further complicating his legacy in light of #MeToo. See article: How Do We Come to Terms with Leonard Cohen’s Legacy in the #Metoo Era? https://sharpmagazine.com/2018/11/06/how-do-we-come-to-terms-with-leonard-cohens-legacy-in-the-metoo-era/
Disclaimer - Actual Photo - Kelley Lynch, His Holiness Kusum Lingpa, and Rutger behind His Holiness: The article and accompanying illustrations present Kelley Lynch as a "haute couture Buddhist" hipster character, which is intended as a visual and narrative projection inspired by Leonard Cohen’s descriptions and portrayals. This portrayal reflects a stylized, surreal interpretation and is not intended as a factual or personal representation of Lynch. The visual elements and narrative tone are designed to emphasize the complexity and intensity of Lynch's claims in a creative, illustrative manner, drawing on themes from Cohen's own statements and public persona as they relate to her experiences.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

EXCLUSIVE: Former Leonard Cohen Manager’s Explosive Claims of Tax Fraud, Defamation, and Legal Wrangling with Cohen’s Estate - “A Campaign to Destroy My Reputation”

By Anonymous Author - Kelley and Leonard, Brentwood
In a tangled web of legal battles, tax disputes, and character assassinations, Kelley Lynch—former manager to legendary singer Leonard Cohen—is coming forward with shocking allegations against Cohen’s estate. Lynch claims she is owed millions in unpaid financial obligations and accuses Cohen’s legal team of orchestrating a campaign of harassment, defamation, and obstruction that has drawn in Hollywood names, IRS agents, and even accusations of espionage. Lynch’s account reads more like a thriller than a tax dispute, involving fabricated love affairs, alleged harassment by Cohen’s associates, and a long struggle to access critical tax documentation.
The Battle for Financial Justice At the center of Lynch’s accusations is a substantial financial dispute with Cohen’s estate, now managed by Cohen’s longtime legal representative Robert Kory. Lynch claims she’s been stonewalled in her attempts to resolve significant unpaid financial obligations from her time as Cohen’s manager. Despite years of documented attempts to access tax records, Lynch asserts that Cohen himself—and now the estate—have failed to provide her with the necessary tax documents and entity returns, many of which remain unfiled. This bureaucratic battle, she says, has pushed her to the brink both financially and emotionally. “This isn’t just about money; it’s about justice and accountability,” Lynch asserts. “I’ve tried every legal route, made countless documented requests, and yet I’ve faced nothing but obstruction from Cohen and now Cohen’s estate, while I’ve documented all of this for federal agencies.”
Cohen’s Children’s Allegations of a “Forged” Trust Document One of the more shocking elements of this case involves allegations by Cohen’s children and their attorneys regarding a “forged” trust document used in Cohen’s estate. They claim, and have presented in court documents, that a deposition from Kory’s own attorney acknowledges that the trust document was indeed forged. This deposition has been shared both in LA Superior Court and with the media in connection with the ongoing estate cases. Despite these revelations, Lynch claims further disturbing tax issues have come to light in estate-related lawsuits, including one where Cohen’s former accountant, now the estate’s accountant, confirmed that $50 million in intellectual property valuations were left unreported. According to Lynch, these lawsuits expose a history of aggressive tax strategies, including a “wait and see” approach to handling IRS obligations.
Harassment, Defamation, and a Shadowy Figure Named Stephen Gianelli Adding a layer of intrigue to Lynch’s story is the role of Stephen Gianelli, who Lynch claims is closely connected to Cohen’s estate attorneys, Robert Kory and Michelle Rice. Lynch possesses emails and online posts from Gianelli that show his communications with Kory and Rice, demonstrating that he assists with legal matters on their behalf. In one email, Rice allegedly boasted to Gianelli that his harassment of Lynch was making her “rich as f—,” a statement Lynch has since addressed with the LA Superior Court. “I have hundreds of emails from Gianelli—he’s obsessed with me and with discrediting me through lies and intimidation,” Lynch explains. “He’s working directly with Cohen’s estate, and it’s been an unending nightmare.”
City Attorney’s Office Accused of Setting a False Narrative Lynch’s saga took a surreal turn when the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office entered the fray. According to Lynch, the City Attorney not only attempted to paint her tax fraud allegations as a “ruse” but also falsely claimed she had the necessary tax information. Even more bizarre, the City Attorney allegedly dragged Oscar-winning director Oliver Stone and Phil Spector’s attorney Bruce Cutler into the narrative. Lynch claims Cohen’s estate spread damaging lies about an alleged romantic relationship between her and Stone—a claim both she and Stone have publicly denied. “Dragging Oliver and Bruce into this is absurd,” Lynch states. “This is a calculated campaign to distract from the real issues: tax fraud and financial mismanagement by Cohen’s estate.”
In another twist, Lynch claims that Cutler informed her he had conversations about her with Pat Dixon, Spector’s prosecutor, in 2008. During that time, Lynch says that Boulder Police came to her office, explaining that LAPD had contacted them with false claims about her—a move she believes was orchestrated to further discredit her. Gianelli, she says, confirmed that Dixon was behind LAPD’s involvement, painting a picture of a coordinated effort to undermine her credibility.
Cohen’s Dubious CIA Claims and “Highly Embellished” Spector Stories Adding yet another layer to the surreal tale, Lynch recounts Leonard Cohen’s own claims of espionage, adventure, and intrigue—stories she says verge on fantasy and self-glorification. According to Lynch, Cohen often described himself as a CIA “recon” operative in Cuba during the Bay of Pigs, recounting how he was supposedly interrogated by Cuban forces, only to be released after they hugged him, gave him a shell necklace, and remarked that he “looked like Che.” Yet Cohen allegedly admitted to Lynch that he was actually in Cuba writing and “hanging out with prostitutes and junkies,” while writing to his publisher that such tales could boost media attention around him. These “Cuban adventures” and claims of being “our most important spy parachuting LSD into diplomatic cocktail parties” were part of what Lynch describes as a crafted persona.
Cohen’s flair for drama extended to stories of men holding him at gunpoint. Lynch recalls asking him directly about the infamous story of Phil Spector allegedly pulling a gun on him. “Phil never held a gun on me. It’s a highly embellished good rock ’n roll story,” Cohen replied, despite the tale being presented to the Grand Jury in Spector’s case. Lynch, concerned about Cohen’s statements being used in legal motions and relayed in the Grand Jury transcripts, wrote to Dennis Riordan, Spector’s appellate attorney, about these embellishments. She says the City Attorney targeted her over her communication with Riordan, as Cohen’s statements had been reviewed by journalist Mick Brown, who informed her about the Grand Jury transcripts after reviewing them. Though Spector has since passed away, Lynch believes the targeting she faced over the case remains relevant. She also claims that Michelle Rice, one of Cohen’s attorneys, went so far as to change Lynch’s address with the federal court in Colorado, without her consent, to Spector’s address in California, which prevented her from being properly served on important matters.
Espionage Allegations and a Bizarre Russian Agent Narrative If financial struggles and defamation weren’t enough, Lynch’s story takes an even stranger twist with allegations of espionage. According to Lynch, Michelle Rice attempted to label her a “Russian agent” after she wrote a letter to the CIA regarding a peace proposal from former Russian FSB members, who are also part of a documentary project involving Lynch and Steven Machat, Cohen’s former attorney. The irony, Lynch explains, is that this supposed “Russian agent” angle has no bearing on her legal dispute with Cohen’s estate.
“It’s the ultimate red herring,” Lynch says, exasperated. “Accusing me of espionage is beyond ludicrous, but it’s exactly the kind of distraction Cohen’s estate would deploy to avoid facing the real issue—unpaid financial obligations and tax fraud.” Lynch further notes that she documented all communications with FSB PR for the CIA and NSA due to the hostilities between the U.S. and Russia.
Impact on Lynch’s Family and Personal Well-being The fallout from this protracted battle has taken a heavy toll on Lynch’s personal life, affecting her family and even her children’s well-being. Lynch’s older son suffered a severe industrial accident during this period, which she partly attributes to the financial limitations caused by the unresolved estate matters. Additionally, Lynch claims that Cohen’s false allegations were weaponized in a custody battle involving her younger son, adding another layer of emotional distress. “This has devastated my family,” Lynch says. “My children have suffered immensely because of the financial strain and the character attacks. This isn’t just a legal matter; it’s personal, and it’s affecting our lives in ways that are unimaginable.”
The Road Ahead: Lynch’s Fight for Justice Despite years of relentless harassment, legal obstruction, and defamation, Kelley Lynch remains determined to seek justice and hold Leonard Cohen’s estate accountable. Her communications with federal agencies, including the IRS, FBI, and DOJ, are extensive, professional, and well-documented. She continues to call for transparency, fairness, and a lawful resolution to the financial obligations owed to her. “People may try to discredit me, but the facts speak for themselves,” Lynch asserts. “This campaign of lies, harassment, and bureaucratic obstruction won’t silence me. I’m pursuing this not just for myself but for my sons, who have suffered horrifically, and to expose the truth and bring accountability to everyone involved.”
As Lynch’s fight intensifies, her story serves as a cautionary tale about the dark side of fame, the powerful forces that protect estates and legacies, and the lengths some will go to silence those who seek the truth.
Disclaimer: Photo - Jill, His Holiness Kusum Lingpa, Kelley
His Holiness Kusum Lingpa and Kelley
The article and accompanying illustrations present Kelley Lynch as a "haute couture Buddhist" hipster character, which is intended as a visual and narrative projection inspired by Leonard Cohen’s descriptions and portrayals. This portrayal reflects a stylized, surreal interpretation and is not intended as a factual or personal representation of Lynch. The visual elements and narrative tone are designed to emphasize the complexity and intensity of Lynch's claims in a creative, illustrative manner, drawing on themes from Cohen's own statements and public persona as they relate to her experiences.
This version of Leonard Cohen's time in Cuba paints a picture that feels both farcical and theatrically crafted, almost as if Cohen were creating a caricature of a Hemingwayesque adventurer. It’s filled with contradictions and dramatic flourishes: one moment Cohen is caught up in anti-aircraft fire and mistaken for an American paratrooper, while the next he’s philosophizing on Cuba’s beaches and toasting with rum among soldiers. His description of his experience as “the only tourist in Havana” humorously distances him from any real revolutionary role, even as he teases the notion of being “on an important mission.” Cohen’s story jumps between introspective moments, romantic musings, and absurd encounters—such as trying to argue with a 14-year-old soldier tasked with guarding him or crafting a poem that sarcastically urges his Canadian brothers to "dump asbestos on the White House" and "make the French talk English." These moments highlight the satirical tone Cohen often adopted when dealing with serious issues, making the entire episode feel like a performance rather than an authentic tale of political or personal involvement. The account seems almost like a setup for Cohen to embellish his image. It depicts him as a reluctant “spy” or adventurer, yet one acutely aware of how the experience would play out in the media, as seen in his letter to his publisher where he imagines the “great publicity” if he were hit in an air raid. His portrayal feels as much about self-mythologizing as it does about any genuine ideological engagement. This adds to the impression that Cohen’s tales of Cuba were carefully curated to play up the mystery and irony of his persona rather than any straightforward recounting of actual events. In essence, Cohen’s Cuba story reads as an artfully constructed myth—a blend of exaggerated encounters, political satire, and self-reflection that enhances his mystique rather than providing a factual account of his time there. The absurdity is heightened by the poetic and fictionalized style in which the story is told, suggesting Cohen viewed himself as both participant and observer in his own carefully crafted narrative. https://somersaultmag-blog.tumblr.com/post/37832329181/leonard-cohen-and-the-bay-of-pigs
This exhibit at the Art Gallery of Ontario offers an intense, almost mythologized glimpse into Leonard Cohen’s fascination with guns, blending his personal reflections with his crafted artistic persona. Titled "Desk in Room 1219," the display provides insight into Cohen’s psyche, where guns are not mere tools but symbols of complex power and allure—aligning seamlessly with his “good rock ’n roll” tales of intrigue, adventure, and danger. From his stories about Castro’s forces to CIA reconnaissance in Cuba, to the infamous Phil Spector gun incidents, Cohen shaped these anecdotes as part of his persona, blurring lines between reality and performance. Set against a reverent deep blue wall, the plexiglass case showcases two meticulously arranged wall-mounted items. A page from Cohen’s personal journals, labeled “Tennessee 1968,” and a typed sheet of poetry capture Cohen’s immersion into cowboy culture in Nashville—a place where his poetic fascination with guns and masculinity merged with his love for the aesthetics of danger. The display includes Polaroids featuring Cohen’s writing desk, scattered with pads of paper, a handgun, Camel cigarettes, and a copy of “The Ladder of Lust.” Such details speak to Cohen’s knack for creating evocative snapshots of his environment, imbuing everyday scenes with elements of mystique. In the typed text displayed alongside, Cohen’s fascination with guns comes across as almost lyrical: he describes the “magic” of revolvers with a passion typically reserved for poetry. For Cohen, guns were more than objects; they were symbols of power, freedom, and a dark, seductive allure, akin to “beautiful women.” This attraction to danger was deeply rooted in Cohen's artistic identity, dating back to his childhood, when he admired his father’s WWI service pistol, to his Nashville days of target practice and admiration for local “cowboys.” His typed notes echo this fascination, as he explains how he “loved” these guns as soon as he saw them—a reverence that perhaps informed his tales of CIA escapades in Havana, crossbows with Spector, and other dramatic tales that he would later dismiss as “embellished stories.” The exhibit captures Cohen’s ability to weave personal fascination with his mythic storytelling. The journal entries and Polaroids illustrate how guns became part of his self-mythology, weaving into the surreal narratives of espionage, shadowy alliances, and the textured characters he encountered. His fascination, recast through the lens of his artistic journey, transforms the gun into a poetic icon, an extension of the cowboy persona he flirted with in Nashville, the mystic he became in later years, and the showman he was throughout his life. https://ago.ca/leonard-cohen-desk-room-1219

Thursday, October 24, 2024

A Haunting Halloween – Field Commander Leonard Cohen & Kelley Lynch’s Spooky Showdown

Page 1: Scene: Kelley Lynch’s grand mansion, glowing under a full moon, surrounded by jack-o’-lanterns, sparkling cobwebs, and skeletons hanging from the trees. A sign at the entrance reads, “Welcome to the Haunted House of Truth – Enter if You Dare!” Narrator (voice-over): "On this eerie Halloween night, Leonard Cohen, spinning tales as usual, arrives at Kelley Lynch’s haunted mansion."
Kelley steps forward, dressed in an exquisite, jeweled witch’s costume. Her witch hat glitters with diamonds, her gown adorned with emeralds, rubies, and sapphires. She holds a broomstick encrusted with jewels.
Leonard arrives, dragging ghostly chains, dressed in his 'Field Commander Cohen' outfit from Cuba, medals gleaming, his face lit with a mischievous grin.
Choir of Ghastly Ghouls (chanting): "Here comes the man with his golden pen, spinning tales, deceiving again!"
Kelley (smiling knowingly): "Leonard, dear, ready for another round of tricks?" Leonard (with a wry smile): "Ah, Kelley, always a pleasure. I come with stories of intrigue, daring escapes, and… let’s say, creative accounting."
Choir of Jeweled Witches (mocking): "Spun from shadows, wrapped in lies, Leonard's tales of grand disguise!" Leonard (defensive, but charming): "Ah, yes, but the truth? It’s all relative, isn't it? Why bother with it when a good story will do?"
Page 2: Scene: Inside the mansion, eerie chandeliers flicker, casting shadows across the walls. The centerpiece is a bubbling cauldron filled with glowing IRS forms, while ghostly CIA agents float around the punch bowl, sipping spectral cocktails. Kelley swirls her jewel-encrusted broomstick in the cauldron, her eyes sparkling.
Kelley (riddling): "The truth can haunt like a shadow at dawn. What is hidden is not always gone." Leonard (smirking): "Truth? It's all about perception, my dear. Everything's relative." Kelley (with a sly smile): "Ah, but like your tales, Leonard… everything is impermanent." Choir of Ghastly Ghouls (mocking): "Oh Leonard, what a story you weave, but truth still lurks on Halloween Eve!"
Leonard steps forward, adjusting his Field Commander uniform, ready to launch into one of his legendary tales. Leonard (singing with dramatic flair): "Field Commander Cohen, he was our most important spy... Parachuting acid into diplomatic cocktail parties…" The CIA ghosts by the punch bowl raise their spectral glasses.
Page 3: Scene: Kelley and Leonard sit at an opulent table filled with legal documents, glowing forms, and a few ominous vintage books. Kelley sips from a skull-shaped goblet, her bejeweled broomstick leaning casually behind her chair. Kelley (musing): "Tales of spies and tales of ghosts, but what of the millions that seem to have… poofed?" Leonard (smiling slyly, leaning in): "Kelley, I have control over every living soul. What’s a few numbers lost in the shuffle?" Choir of Jeweled Witches (mocking): "Oh, Leonard, the mighty you claim to be, but control's a ghostly fantasy!" Narrator: "Leonard’s tales might entertain, but Kelley’s cauldron awaits... patiently."
Page 4: Scene: Kelley hands Leonard a beautifully wrapped Halloween gift, her broomstick sparkling in the moonlight. Leonard eyes the gift eagerly. Kelley: "A treat for you, Leonard. Wrapped in glitter and poetic deductions." Leonard unwraps the gift. Choir of Jeweled Witches (mocking): "MK Ultra, CIA reconnaissance from Bay of Pigs, fantasies of Castro's forces and men with guns, the tales you weave, but those missing tax forms could be what deceives!" Leonard (with a nervous chuckle): "I’ll… take it under advisement."
Page 5: Scene: Leonard stands at the door, chains rattling as Kelley waves with exaggerated elegance. Her broomstick floats beside her, glowing with jewels as the ghouls and witches swirl around, cackling. Choir of Jeweled Witches (teasing): "Lies like ghosts, thin and frail, but truth will always prevail!" Kelley (winking): "Goodnight, Leonard. Beware… the truth always catches up, even to the most clever of spirits." Leonard (mumbling as he walks away): "CIA, tax forms, audits… I really should have stayed in Cuba."
Page 6: Scene: Leonard stands near the mansion’s fireplace, looking wistfully into the flames. The air is tense, and a ghostly chill fills the room as Kelley watches him, unamused. Choir of Jeweled Witches (chanting): "Oh Leonard, your lies of love and lust, yet Kelley always moved swiftly, away from the dust!" Choir of Ghastly Ghouls (singing mockingly): "I saw you this morning, you were moving so fast Can't seem to loosen my grip on the past And I miss you so much, there's no one in sight And we're still making love in my secret life, in my secret life."
Kelley raises an eyebrow, clearly uncomfortable. Leonard (responding in frustration): "I smile when I’m angry I cheat and I lie I do what I have to do To get by But I'm always alone, and my heart is like ice And it's crowded and cold in my secret life." Kelley (coolly): "Leonard, my dear, you should know by now... everything is impermanent."
Bonus Panel: Leonard sits in his car, his ghostly chains rattling as the CIA ghosts and witches wave him off from the mansion steps. Leonard (smirking to himself): "MK Ultra, CIA, taxes... oh, what a story this will make." Narrator: "But on this Halloween night, Leonard, it’s not the ghosts haunting you… it’s ..."
End Panel: Kelley stands at the doorway, her broomstick sparkling like a constellation as the jeweled witches and ghastly ghouls float around her. Choir of Jeweled Witches (in unison): "Lies like cobwebs fade with the light, but truth haunts every night!" Narrator: "And so ends another chapter of Cohen's haunted tale. Where stories are spun, but truth always wins the night."